Memories Rubbish Container

I know this might be a dream.
But if it is; I can say it's also my favourite dream.
An irreal fairytale that may never come true.
But my life's story.
Everything I ever wanted
Seems like nothing now.
And why is that?
Because I've been expecting so much.
More than what this universe could ever give me.
I feel strange.
Like if my magic is about to come;
But for some reason it doesn't want to.
I feel desesperated.
I need magic, want it with all my soul.
But somehow... It'll never come.